The Benchwarmer Report
Since 1989, ’The Benchwarmer’ has been causing a stir with his weekly Old Brighton match reports. Whilst one of our most ardent supporters, he is also more than capable of being brutally honest and dishing out criticism to whomever he sees fit. In fact, previous requests to tone down his honesty have proven futile. Comical, scathing, theatrical and unique, he invokes the old Jack Dyer phrase ”for them” at the end of virtually every sentence. In his own words... ”The Benchwarmer was only ever meant to be fun. In the early days, when about three people listened, I used to amuse myself berating the umpires, the opposition, the crowd, the facilities, creating the archetypal one-eyed Tonner supporter. Everything was fair game. You could do that before we took life so seriously.” He claims since to have ”lost his edge”, but we don’t think much has changed. Listen at your own risk!
Listen on:
Episodes
May 23, 2022
May 23, 2022
5 min
The boys made the trip west to St Bernards this week and ofcourse the Benchwarmer wasn't going to miss it.
May 19, 2022
May 19, 2022
6 min
Hello Douglas! better late than never. Back to winning ways this week for the boys in blue and red and as always the Benchwarmer had plenty to say.
May 10, 2022
May 10, 2022
5 min
Back to winning ways this week for the boys in Red and Blue, the Benchwarmer had plenty to say about it.
May 3, 2022
May 3, 2022
6 min
This week the Benchwarmer reflects on the first loss of the season as the boys went toe to toe with a fiery Old Scotch outfit.
Apr 27, 2022
Apr 27, 2022
7 min
What a round of footy it was as the Tonners recorded a gutsy come from behind win against a red hot Uni Blues. Have a listen to what the Benchwarmer had to say about it.
Apr 13, 2022
Apr 13, 2022
6 min
The Benchwarmer is back again as the season gets well and truly under way, and this week proved to be an absolute nail biter as the boys came out on top against a fiery Old Xavs side.
Apr 7, 2022
Apr 7, 2022
5 min
The Benchwarmer is back in a big way in 2022!
Back watching the game with 'the fools on the hill', he reflects on some of the fresh faces in this year's lineup as the club secured 6/7 wins in a magnificent Round 1.
Aug 3, 2021
Aug 3, 2021
5 min
Despite not being able to attend the game, The Benchwarmer has still managed to report on our Round 14 clash with 'The Kevin', courtesy of live phone updates by 'The Big Fella'. The Tonners hung on for a tense 3-point win at TH King Oval, further solidifying their position in the top 4.
Jul 5, 2021
Jul 5, 2021
6 min
On a frosty day at Glenhuntly Oval, Caulfield regained the Greg Tootel Cup with a 14-point win over the Tonners.
Jun 28, 2021
Jun 28, 2021
5 min
6/6 Tonner wins for the first time in our history, Douglas! The Benchwarmer reports on a magnificent weekend for the club, for them.